путешествия по пространству и времени

По разным причинам приходится родителям приходится заниматься с детьми дополнительно по разным предметам. Но не все учебники и упражнения о...

Анекдоты для детей (на английском)

По разным причинам приходится родителям приходится заниматься с детьми дополнительно по разным предметам. Но не все учебники и упражнения одинаково интересны, и уроки превращаются в мучение. Знакомо? Вот сегодня нашла поелзные упражнения по русской орфографии, а там такие очень нужные слова "Авин..он, ад..юнктура, ад..ютант, ар..ергард, батал..он, без..абзацный". Приходится искать что-то интересное самостоятельно.

Сегодня собрала для своих детей две странички анекдотов на английском языке. Вы можете читать их с детьми с экрана, поясняя при необходимости незнакомые слова и конструкции, а можете сначала распечатать из файла по этой ссылке.


Анекдоты для детей

- What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?
- Any dog, buildings don't jump!

Teacher: What is 2 and 2?..
Jack: 4.
Teacher: That's good.
Jack: Good?!! That is perfect!

Mother: Mary, have you changed the water in the fishbowl?
Mary: No, mummy. The goldfish has not drunk this water yet.

Mother: I left two chocolate bars in the cupboard this morning, Tommy. Now I can see only one. How can this be?
Tommy: Mummy, it was so dark that I just didn't see the other chocolate bar.

Teacher: Why are you late, Jimmy?
Jim: It was late when I started from home.
Teacher: So why didn't you start earlier?
Jim: It was too late to start early, madam. 

Bob: Why is your dog watching me so attentively while I am eating?
Sam: I don't know. Maybe it's because you are eating out of its plate.

Grandfather: What mark do you have in History?
Jimmy: A four.
Grandfather: Oh, what a shame! When I was a pupil, I had a five.
Jimmy: But the history was much shorter then!

Teacher: Jack, can you tell me what five things contain milk in them?
Jack: Of course! This is butter, cheese and three cows.

Little Mary: Oh, these ants are so strange: they work and work, and work all the time! They don't have rest!
Little Jack: Really? Every time when I go on a picnic these ants are always there.

Mother: You are six today. Happy birthday!
Jack: Thank you mummy!
Mother: Would you like to have a cake with six candles for your birthday party?
Jack: I think I would like to have six cakes and one candle, mummy!

Bib brother: I can help you with your mathematics. Look, I have ten  cucumbers and you give me two. How many will I have?
Alice: I don't know. At school we do mathematics with apples.

Children: Mummy, we will play elephants at the Zoo. Will you help us?
Mother: I will, of course. What can I do?
Children: You can be the lady who gives the elephants sweets and bananas.

Teacher: How old are you?
Little Alice: Eleven.
Teacher: How can this be? You were five last year and you are six this year.
Little Alice: Yes, that's right! Five last year plus six this year makes eleven.

Sam: What strange-looking socks you are wearing, Mark? One is green and the other is black.
Mark: Yes, but the strangest thing is that I have another pair like this at home.

Teacher: (pointing at the window) What is it?
Little pupil: I don't want to tell.
Teacher: But you must!
Little pupil: I don't come to school to teach you. It is you who must teach me.

Billy: Why does an ostrich have such a long neck?
Jack: I think, it is because its head is so far from its body.

Bobby: Mother made soup for me and I helped her.
His friend: How did you help her?
Bobby: I sat still.

Tom: Father, our teacher doesn't know what a horse is!
Father: Why do you think so, Tommy?
Tom: I drew a horse yesterday and showed it to the teacher. And the teacher asked me what it was.



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